Q: What do you call a dead Liverpool Fan in a closet?

New Aston Villa signing Ollie Watkins scored a first-half hat-trick while Jack Grealish scored twice for Villa. A: A battery has a positive side. Everyone knows Scousers have got the best sense of humour going. The sign read 'Jesus saves'. The little old dear left came back 20 minutes later and shouted 'long grain or pudding rice'" - Tracey Bradshaw, "I asked my nan who lived on Princess Drive, Huyton, once what her recipe for Scouse was and she said 'put it on low an' go The Eagle'" - Scott Duffy, "A woman in a mobility scooter zooming past a man in a mobility scooter said 'haha!
Back in February, we asked readers to send in some of the funniest things they've ever seen or overheard in Liverpool - and their responses did not disappoint. The 24-year-old former Brentford striker needed another 18 minutes to score the second. Watkins then completed his hat-trick from a set-piece before Ross Barkley netted on debut and Grealish made it a humiliation. From things overheard in the chippy to some absolute gold from Scouse nans, these are the moments that show Scousers really have got the best sense of humour around. ''Yeah''Well fly over there and get me a can of coke'"This was a few years ago and still makes me laugh when I think about it" - Davey Ash, "Best thing I’ve seen was outside a church. She was telling him off and saying 'if you don't behave you won't go to football tomorrow'.

pic.twitter.com/Ya7mI6wazd, Co ten Góralski ??? Our. Half the room went into hysterics including the nursing staff. - Mary Wrigley, "On a bus, a woman was with her son. VIDEO: Young Everton fan tries to persuade mum to sing Richarlison song with swear word in it. #ASTLIV pic.twitter.com/QaroeRMhN2, — Ole’s Showtime Reds ⚫️ (@DrippyFernandes) October 4, 2020. and a voice from the back shouted 'for how long?'" A: So Liverpool FC fans can get laid too. Jürgen Klopp’s charges came under sustained attack at Villa Park on Sunday as new signing Ollie Watkins grabbed a hat-trick and the match ball.
Dean Smith’s side are one of only two teams in the Premier League to win each of their opening three matches in the new season. I'm winning'. — Scouser Chris (@ScouserChrisLFC) October 4, 2020, The best own goal in the history of football was just scored in Romania.

Someone shouted 'if it was a pie youd have caught it'" - Paul Mason, "I was at the Everton game once an this proper sweet little old lady started goin mad at the ref behind me an shouted 'OH YOU BLOODY DIPSTICK'. He went up to the bar and saw my friend's dad behind the bar and said 'Bloody hell mate how many pubs do you own around here?'" - Helen Cox, "Some fella proudly farting in the waiting room in the old Walton hospital. — Gabriel Agbonlahor (@officialga11) October 4, 2020. pic.twitter.com/OqRhdJsh1T, Mo Salah should've done this last 10 minutes #Liverpool pic.twitter.com/8RsxlpQ4jo, @ Liverpool fans watching United play earlier today https://t.co/KYl8DtH7Su, Ole watching klopp on tv looking clueless pic.twitter.com/qpR5N5kpYP, Every 15 minutes pal.#AVFC #LFC pic.twitter.com/eo7Y1xaQwc, Really wish Roy Keane was in the studio to ask Klopp if he thought his side were sloppy after the match pic.twitter.com/9KGyT8xSQI, — FootballJOE (@FootballJOE) October 4, 2020, Klopp can’t even wait to get in the changing room.

These were the best tweets and jokes as Aston Villa beat Liverpool 7-2: Liverpool breaking Covid rules letting 7 in. I said to him 'what's up mate?' Liverpool pulled back one through Mohamed Salah but conceded a third soon after John McGinn’s volley took a big deflection of Virgil van Dijk. - Christine Smith, "On a night out waiting in a queue in a chippy.

These were the best tweets and jokes as Aston Villa beat Liverpool 7-2: Liverpool breaking Covid rules letting 7 in. Sometimes they’ll include recommendations for other related newsletters or services we offer.

Our comments section was flooded with hilarious responses - so many that we couldn't fit them all in one piece. Joke #19: Q: What is the shortest book in the world called? #AVLLIV pic.twitter.com/wGcz7Dy2Fk, — Engr Obinnaya (@obyn_designs) October 4, 2020, — Alhaji Tunde Wall’s (@TundeWalls) October 4, 2020, "Mane tested positive but it's Liverpool who are fighting the pandemic", Boris Johnson reimposed social distancing measures across the country as a second wave of coronavirus hit, but it was Aston Villa who broke the rule of 6 against defending champions Liverpool. The first one was obviously Adrian; that was a big mistake, yes, but the reaction on the goal was an even bigger mistake, how we reacted. “Ini lerenthu namba friends Gopinath! The son replied 'If you don't let me go to football, I will tell dad about you weeing in the bucket last night'. #POLBIH pic.twitter.com/DVHOXHd9wU, The best jokes as Manchester United lose 1-6 to José Mourinho’s Spurs, VIDEO: Streaker at stream of Excelsior’s win over MVV Maastricht, VIDEO: Rangers’ Alfredo Morelos slaps Celtic captain Scott Brown on the back of the head, VIDEO: Liverpool substitute goalkeeper Caoimhín Kelleher falls asleep on bench against Everton, VIDEO: Dog joins in with game of keepie uppies on beach, VIDEO: Wolves fan gets Conor Coady tattoo after his goal for England against Wales, Steal a march on other managers with our Fantasy Premier League bargains for 2020-21, Fantasy Premier League tips for the next Gameweek are available now, Mystic Megson predicts the Premier League, VIDEO: Player does roly-poly to regain footing during Ukrainian second tier match.

A: The Book of Intelligent Liverpool Fans : Joke #18: Q: Why did god invent alcohol?


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